Thursday, August 11, 2011

Mini Goal Reward



When I get to -20lbs (196.8lbs) I am going to buy these shoes! Yeah buddy! They are expensive, but I need better running shoes!







A Little Too Perfect

Yesterday I purchased some Zone Perfect nutrition bars so I would have breakfast bars at work... I bought the chocolate chip cookie dough ones. OMG! They are crazy delicious! Are just like eating raw cookie dough, no joke! I had one for a snack yesterday afternoon and TWO today! One for breakfast and one after lunch! BAD BAD BAD!!!! I will NEVER buy them again! Or at least not a whole box at a time!

Nutrition Facts:
Calories: 180
Fat: 5g
Carbs: 24g
Protein: 10g

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Teeter Tot Hotdish

Okay, dieting is the worst! I hate worrying about food all day long! If I eat this now, then I can't have this later... Bleh! I haven't gotten back to the Atkin's WOE (way of eating) and I haven't totally gone crazy either... I am somewhere in the middle. I don't know what to do... I feel okay, but I also know that Atkin's is the only way I will lose weight quickly and effectively. Am I not cut out for Atkin's, do I need a slower integration of weening off carbs? This isn't really a great time to be "testing" out what is gonna work or not work, but I am stumped.

I have been trying to only eat refined carbs on work out days and eat lower carb on "off" days with a free day on Mondays... But I ate a sandwich for lunch today, tsk, tsk! Still under my calories though!

Do I have too many rules? Too little self control? IDK, guess I will just work out today too!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Trying Something New... Or So I thought!

Last week I started the Couch to 5K program with help from the C25K app for iphone. It really is neat. I paid $2.99 for it (plus .99) for the GPS feature. Anyhoo, it is so easy to use. You can still pick all your music out of the itunes playlists and there is an alert and "coach" telling you when to run and walk. After the workout, you then journal how you felt and plug your weight in to see how many calories you burned. The GPS feature tracks your total distance as well as pace/walk and pace/run. I think it is just so cool! Now if only I could run the whole time I am supposed to!

So since starting this workout I decided that I would eat a few refined carbs on workout days ONLY... I was doing really good for 2 days, but then the weekend came along. Friday night Applebee's, Saturday was an allowed day, as I did my run in the morning, but I went overboard, and Sunday was not supposed to have been an eat whatever day. Mondays are to be my only free days, but I have yet to get through a weekend without failure.

This weekend I will be good. My workout days this week are:
Tuesday, Thursday & Saturday. So I will allow myself a very small amount of refined carbs these days... No fried foods or junk! Maybe a slice of bread, baked potato or CUP of pasta.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Double Digits Paradise Countdown - 97 Days To Be Exact!

Ok, so I know that I am the ONLY one that is truly excited about my wedding, but seriously, I never thought I would even get married. It just wasn't on my radar. No one I dated previously made me think it would be a good idea. Even when Randall and I first started dating (6 years ago), a wedding was something that we cringed about whenever people would ask. We are late bloomers I guess! Once we decided it was something we were/are ready for, it has just been so easy and almost effortless to plan. Which is shocking because when I plan things for other people it HAS GOT TO BE PERFECT or I lose my mind! Or maybe the details and plans are just not as important as what the wedding day will be for us.

We are so excited to not only get married, but being able to go on vacation with our family & friends is going to incredible. I mean think about it, we are going to Jamaica with almost everyone we truly love. It will be so cool to always have someone to hang out with no matter the activity. I for one, will NOT be snorkeling or doing much swimming in the ocean as I don't like feeling seaweed or god forbid fish/sea life on me! LOL! I love the beach, I love walking on the beach, I love the sound of the waves and of course love the sun! I will do my fair share of wading, but don't like to get too deep into the ocean... Too much sand in nooks & crannies! And I would hate for Randall to miss out on those things, just because he has no one to go with. So it's gonna be just perfect!

Monday, August 1, 2011

Shifting Gears

Well I didn't lose any weight this week... But I also didn't gain. It was terribly hard to try and get back on the diet train after last weekend. I have to find a way to fight for myself and my heath!

I have changed my short term goals... instead of shooting for 115lbs, which is my overall goal, I am going to focus on getting to 169lbs. Which would be considered an "overweight" and not "obese" BMI. If my target for each week is 3.5 lbs, I should be there by 11/4/11, just in time for the wedding! That would be great!


Monday, July 25, 2011

Jumping Off The Wagon

Well I didn't stick to Atkin's like AT ALL during my four day weekend! I gained 4lbs in hopefully only water weight. It all started Thursday for lunch...

Thursday Lunch: Old Chicago
Randall picked Old Chicago. The only thing I really care for there is their Pepperoni Rolls appetizer. They are basically pepperoni & cheese rolled into pizza dough. So we of course had to split those. Randall ordered a personal pizza and I ordered a Italian Sandwich with fries... I HATED the sandwich, Randall ate it. But I ate 1/2 the Pep rolls and some fries.

Thursday Dinner: A & W Fairbault
OMG! This place was so neat. It was a drive in and eat in restaurant. They actually wait on you...
Since lunch was such a disappointment I ordered a chili cheese dog and fries (yes, again)! It was delicious! Oh I had 2 glasses of root beer too... Made fresh daily!

Friday Lunch: Movie Theater
I was so bored on Friday I decided to go to a movie... I had popcorn for lunch!

Friday Dinner: Pazzo
Friday was technically our 6 year dating anniversary so we went to a fancy dinner at Pazzo. I had the Chicken Milanese. OMG, AMAZING! Chicken with panko crumbs and garlic fettuccine... Wow was it good! Then we went to Flapdoodles Ice Cream for dessert.

Saturday Brunch: Perkins
Short Stack Pancakes

Saturday Dinner: Grand American Grill (Casino Restaurant)
Prime Rib Dinner with baked potato


And Sunday blah, blah, blah... You get it! Whatever, wherever! I had fun and enjoyed myself! BUT... You can see that I am pretty lucky to only have gained 4 lbs!

Anyways, I am trying to get back to normal... Atkins normal. So I guess social dinners with family and friends are not the only thing I need to watch out for! Anything other than a normal/routine day is subject to get off course. LOL!


Monday, July 18, 2011

One Week Down, 15 To Go!

This week I officially lost 7.4lbs! So today I weigh 212.8...


I am pretty happy with that number, ALTHOUGH yesterday (Sunday) morning I weighed in at 211lbs. So that means I gained 1.8lbs in a day. Sad part is, I know why!



Saturday night we had a family camp out. We did not camp as our basement had flooded and we were busy sucking up water. But, we did go hang out and drink Saturday night. I had some champagne and a Mike's Raspberry (SUGAR) and a Mike's Light, oh and a Miller High Life! Plus, yesterday was my parents' 35th Wedding Anniversary! They invited my sister, Randall & I out for dinner. They ended up picking my favorite burger place in town. I ordered their chicken strips and a garden salad. I know the people that are doing Atkin's/know the diet well are gasping at the chicken strips... I should have too. They are nowhere near as breaded as let's say, BWW's or Applebees. They are beer battered and the batter is VERY thin. But they along with the 3 french fries and the Saturday night drinks I had may have caused a blip in my induction.



I should have known better. Eating out with my family and friends is a MAJOR trigger of mine. Usually more so when we go to a location I am very fond of. I think I will take a step away from going to dinner with others for about a month or so now. Not that I don't enjoy the company, but I get stuck in old habits and sabotage my progress for a quick jolt of satisfaction!


This weekend Randall and I are heading out of town and staying overnight in Hinckley, MN. There is a casino there and since it is our dating anniversary weekend, we want to get away. I just hope I can stay strong with induction.




Monday, July 11, 2011

Tip Top Shape... For A Circle!

So as you saw from my post at midnight today is Day 1. I weighed in this morning and I about died. 220.2 lbs. OH MY GOD! How did I? Why did I?

If a stranger heard me take a shower this morning, they could have probably guessed how unhealthy I am. I am so gassy and the sounds coming from me are nothing short of disgusting. Bodies shouldn't sound like that, LOL!

At first, I tried to justify the 7 lbs gain since I last weighed in... Yesterday can only be known as binge eating. We had Perkins for brunch where I downed a full country omelet and 3 pancakes. Dinner was Godfather's Pizza and cheese sticks, I only had 1 piece of pizza though... I was saving room for popcorn and Peanut Butter M & Ms at the movie theater! Wonder why I am so bloated today? I also just started my TOM (time of month)... But really these are just excuses!

I can't change my starting number, and I think I need that "gun to my head" as a jumping off point to restart what I sent out to change last summer, this winter and everyday in between. Food keeps winning and controlling my life. Today I am taking it back, if only for 4 months.

Hi my name is Robyn, and I am a carb/junk food addict. On July 11, 2011 I...

(to be continued)

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Okay, For Real This Time!

I am writing this post at 12:00 am on 7/11/2011. I officially get married in 4 months! And I haven't lost an ounce of what I said I was going to lose before the wedding!

I have a headache, my stomach is beyond bloated and I should be in bed... I have to work at 7am. I have vowed to start Atkin's today and stick to it until I am in Jamaica this November. My goal is to lose 40lbs by then... Which would get me to 175. I haven't been there since the summer of 2008... Seriously! It's time.

I don't know how, but I am going to try harder, stay more focused and STOP GIVING IN TO FOOD TRIGGERS...

Friday, July 8, 2011

Meat your Match!

My local grocery store was having a 15% off meat sale! I bought the following:

2- 1lb 85% Hamburger
1- 2.27lb Bottom Round Beef Roast
1- Summer Sausage Roll
1- Pork Roast
1- Quarter Spiral Ham
1- lb Chicken Breasts
1- Oscar Meyer XXL Beef Hot Dogs
1- Johnsonville Turkey Cheddar Links

All for about $40! I thought that was pretty good!

I am really excited to start eating the Atkins lifestyle again, it has been fun gorging on whatever I want, but I can FEEL my body slowing down. I am bloated all the time and still eat for no reason at all! TIME FOR A CHANGE!


Monday, June 27, 2011

Back To The Drawing Board!

Well I am about a frustrated as I can get! I feel like such a failure when it comes to dieting! I officially HATE food. It runs my life! I am going back to the actual Atkins diet. I am waiting until after the weekend as we have a lot of food in the house and I cannot bear throwing all that $$ away.

(SIGH) I just wish I could keep focused and stop giving in to food that I know is not good for me! I need some motivation!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

It's Been A Month?!

Wow, I really thought I had stayed more on top of my blog... Guess not! I have been following a diet of NO bread, pasta, rice or potatoes, but that is all I have eliminated so far... I have still had a regualr soda here and there and ice cream. This was my second week of doing this, I weigh in on Tuesdays. Last week I lost a whopping 1.4 lbs... BOOOOO! BUT, it is a loss! Hopefully this week the scale will be nicer. :)

Today is father's day and we are going to my parents house for lunch! Bacon wrapped steak, carrot-pineapple jello, CORN chips and angel food cake await us!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Can I Really Do This?

Ok, so today is day 3 of eating low carb and so far so good. I should have drank more water and eaten a few less carbs, but I think I am doing pretty good. Let me clear one thing up quickly... I am not following Atkin's and I am for sure not following Atkin's induction. I am avoiding bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, flour & sugar. However, I will moderately eat, beans, fruits, popcorn, yogurt & drink milk. I find this so much less restrictive and I do not have the induction "flu" from eating this way. BUT, I will lose much slower, hopefully exercising will help combat that a little.


All the while I have set myself up for success, I am already worried about the future of it. Can I really do it this time? Will I finally get below 190, which seems to be my give up point? My answers are I hope so. My mind says YES YOU CAN, but my heart says I don't know. I know I can't predict the future, but I also know myself. What really triggers a cheat? Is it the actual taste of the food? The feeling the food gives me? Or is it something deeper?


What if food has nothing to do with it? What if it is all a defense mechanism? How did I lose 80lbs when I was 19? What was my mental state then, compared to now? I try to put myself into the 120lb Robyn's mind and wonder how I felt about myself then and if I was even aware of the accomplishment... How did I gain 90lbs in 5 years and why? Did I take it all for granted? Do I take everything for granted? I know I am very selfish and like to have things my way, but how does that correlate to weight gain? For someone that HAS to be in control of everything, why would I stop controlling myself?


Is it falling in love with someone that actually loves me back that trips me up? I honestly never thought I would REALLY fall in love, that is too much of myself to give away to someone. Dating is one thing, but to actually give a part of yourself to someone, would have been unheard of for me. Randall is such an amazing man and I am so truly blessed to have found him. And while I know he loves me, no matter my size, I still feel like I am jipping him a little. When we started dating I was the smallest I had ever been in my adult life and now very close to my heaviest. A small part of me still thinks that if I would have not been thin, I would have never been with him. That is a a hard statement to believe about yourself. And maybe it is true that we wouldn't have been together, but we are and he loves me fat anyway.


What if it is all just physical? What if I am so stressed out from work and school that it has sucked the motivation and drive right out of me?


I just want to figure out what the cause is so I can fix it... It is really frustrating to keep wallowing in the same regret. I always think it would be so great to just rewind life back to a thinner time and redo it, but I don't know what it was/is that made me struggle with weight again. So I would still be here, still confused and still fat. I just pray that one day I get it all figured out! And when I do, I will write a book... Just so nobody else has to peel back all of their layers to figure out the answer was there all along!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Trying to Stay Strong

I weighed myself today. OH. MY. GOD.

I am so pissed at myself! I am back to 213lbs! EWWWWWW! How did I get so nonchalant on the dieting front. I was 198 in March!

Can't rewind. Only forward progress... Here I go, watch me shrink!

Monday, May 16, 2011

OKAY OKAY OKAY!

Here we go yo! Time for another restart of Atkinsish eating! I will allow strawberries and carrots... can't live without them!

I am actually really looking forward to not feeling bloated anymore. Believe me, stuffing my face for the last three months was fun, but I need to get real!

Gonna go to bed early and get a good nights sleep to stay strong for the day! PEACE!

P.S. I am scared to step on the scale. If I go on how my clothes have been fitting lately, I have gained it all back! Ugh! I need help...

Monday, May 9, 2011

Things I HATE About Being Fat

This is going to be a work in progress. It is a reminder on why it is hard to be overweight...

1. Clothes don't look how they are supposed to
2. Back Fat
3. Jiggly Arms
4. Thighs... Need I say more
5. Dimpled butt
6. Becoming out of breath by a couple flights of stairs
7. Back sweat
8. Rolls
9. Getting dressed up
10. Trying to be sexy
11. People ignore/don't acknowledge you (happens to me ALL the time)
12. Trying to fit comfortably in tiny lecture desks at school
13. Bras SUCK!
14. Swimming suits
15. Greasy hair/skin
16. Looking in the mirror naked
17. Dancing in public
18. Always being on a diet, always failing a diet
19. Feeling like I smell bad...
20. Pictures taken of me, make me feel ugly.
21. Body doesn't match the person I feel I am inside
22. My posture is terrible
23. Checking to see if I am the biggest person in the room, everywhere I go.
24. Trying to get comfortable for sleeping.
25. Tight Pants
26. People treat you different.
27. Working out/dancing in public.
28. Shorts...
29. When you say "I'm hungry" people almost laugh.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Same Old Excuses

Guess what? I am now within 5lbs of my January starting weight. No one more disappointed than I. I am not going to kid myself and blame anyone but me. I have two weeks left of school and I am not going to concentrate on dieting or anything, but school.

After May 15th, though! ATKIN'S to the rescue! I will be reinducting Monday May 16th.

I hope you all are not losing faith in me? Have I become a broken record? If so, stick with me... I WILL prove you wrong!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Carb Addicts Links

http://howtothinkthin.com/stop-sugar-cravings.htm


http://carbohydrateaddicts.com/cadfnd.html
This link has links to quizzes to see if you are addicted to carbs also.

http://www.freefromaddictions.net/food-addiction/carbohydrate-addiction


http://www.confessionsofacarbaddict.com/


I needed some inspirational reading today! This past weeks grocery list was really cheap, but not so much low carb. One of these days it will click for me. I know I am an addicted to carbs and I know they make me fat. Why can't I seem to give them up?

I know I feel better when following a LC lifestyle, but getting back on it is tough. I don't want to feel the induction flu again, even though I know it only lasts a couple days. I love Coke, I love chips, I love pizza... But are they worth my life? NO! So why can't I stop!?

Why can other people I know eat carbs and lose weight? Especially my bf, he can literally eat anything he wants and not gain weight. Not that it's healthy, he gets bloated too after eating too much crap, but not like I do.

After last weekend and the last couple days I am afraid to step on the scale... I know I have gained. I can feel it in my clothes. I can feel it in my body. I am more sluggish than I have been in like 3 months. I feel bloated and gassy. I am a stinky fart monster and it is embarrassing.

I think it's time to really look at myself and expect a change. How many times can I restart and fail? As many as it takes I guess!

I have all the tools to be successful. I know what I need to eat. I have a home gym. I have time, even though I make a 101 excuses about why I don't. Somethings gotta give!

I only have 3 weeks left of school and then everyday this summer you better see me or hear about my workouts nearly everyday! I have to get it together and stop writing about the fails. It's not over yet... One day I hope to look back at this and be proud of the struggle that I got through.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

McDonald's Is a NO-NO!

HELLLO!!!! Seems like forever since I blogged... I have been a busy lady. School, work and some family vacation time has kept me away from blogging. I had an Anatomy & Physiology lab exam on Thursday which I studied my a$$ off for and I still sucked at it! I am still holding on to a B in the class... BARELY! Thank god there is only 4 weeks left. BUT, there is still 2 lecture exams, 1 lab exam & a optional cumulative exam left. So I will be busy studying for the next 4 weeks as well! This weekend was really fun. Went to the Wisconsin Dells with my parents, my sister, brother in-law, niece and of course Randall. Wisconsin Dells, if you have never heard of it is a family adventure wonderland! All year round. They have indoor water parks, outdoor water parks, amusement parks, shopping, restaurants, attractions, a casino and it is always a good time! We left Friday afternoon and returned today. We stayed at the Great Wolf Lodge and it was A LOT of fun swimming! I love love love water slides, so I was in heaven! The only thing I feel not so great about is how full and bloated I am! UGH! We ate out everyday for breakfast and dinner. Plus we has a ton of snacks... NONE of them healthy! Which I am paying very dearly for now! And so is Randall, if you catch my drift... PUN INTENDED! LOL! To top off the weekend of course we had to continue the unhealthy eating with a McDonald's Big Mac meal for dinner! BARF!!! I feel like I have just eaten a ticking bomb where any minute I will be combusted into a million stinky pieces. I took some Pepto, so hopefully my tummy will calm down before midnight, so I can get some real sleep for work tomorrow! My goal for the week is to drink as much water as possible and to stay away from carbs! Oh yeah, and workout! I got the Turbo Fire I ordered in the mail on Thursday, so maybe I will try it tomorrow... I will let you know!

Monday, April 4, 2011

April 4th 2011

OK, here it is... My "before" picture that was taken currently! I did not weigh myself today and do not plan to for awhile. Last I weighed in I was at 200 lbs, so we'll stick with that I guess! I plan to take a new picture next month and each month here on out... I want to make this a lifestlye change and stick to low carbing for the rest of my life. Blah Blah Blah! I've never said that before, right?! No but seriously, I can't give up. I know weekends are going to be my biggest downfall, but I can't let that stop me! If nothing else Mon-Fri will be dedicated to eating clean and LC! Have a great week! I need some MAJOR sleep tonight!

Friday, April 1, 2011

April 1st

Good Morning! I am so excited for this month to begin... Hoping for warmer weather very soon! Today is a new start on low carb for me! Like I stated before I will be avoiding bread, pasta, rice, potatoes ad sugary snacks. Once Randall gets home from work tonight I will post a picture of me, so we can see the changes that are in store for me. Today's menu so far has been 4 pieces of bacon and a diet Sundrop. I have a Granny Smith apple I plan on eating soon :).

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Come On Baby Light My Turbo Fire!

OMG!!! I just ordered the Turbo Fire workout DVD program from eBay. I am so excited! This reminds of Tao Bo mixed with hip hop dancing! I am so excited to start it! UPDATE: Just got an email informing me the "Buy It Now" Turbo Fire is not available anymore! ARGH!!!!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

A Change Is Gonna Come

REALLY SOON (as in April 1), not only will I use my blog slightly differently, but also my Facebook page. I will be uploading more photos and also showing recipes of what I am eating--all low carb! I will still be using Saturday's as my "cheat", "off plan", "non diet", "fun day". I will be following the "Total Body Makeover" workout regimen and not eat bread, pasta, rice or potatoes. I will follow this eating plan until and through the rest of the year... Obviously there will be blips of cheat days, like the Dells in two weeks, my birthday, Jamaica... But other than that, I will stick to this. After making a plan to work out the last couple of weeks, I feel stronger and I know this is what I have needed to add in the whole time. I still am not back to 196, which is where I was at the beginning of the moth, but I will be back there soon. I am at 200... AGAIN!!! I always give up in the 190s, I can't give up this time!

Friday, March 18, 2011

Spring Fever

HOLA! This week has been nice, I am on Spring Break and haven't even given school a thought since last Thursday! As far a diets go, I would say I am not following one. My plan was to start a work out routine and stick with it for a couple of weeks before changing my diet back to low carb. In my head, it makes me feel like I will stick with working out during the diet transition, rather than adding exercise in after not working out... Well Monday I did some weight training and played Dance Central. My legs hurt like CRAZY! For like 2 days! Yesterday Randall and I went for a walk. Today I will be weight training again! Hopefully tomorrow they are not a sore. I gots plans yo! And they require dancing!

We are going to IA for a friend's 30th B-Day party! I am actually really excited. Feels like forever since I have actually gotten to hang out with her and I am really looking forward to it! She is the sweetest girl and so much fun to drink with! I love road trippin', getting out of Rochester and going to new bars! WIN, WIN WIN! Now... What to get her for a gift?

Happy Weekend!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Remember Me?

Oh wow, can you tell I have been bad? I haven't blogged since Feb. 27th! Well I will try to make this short and sweet. OMG, did someone say sweets? I need a snack!

Last Monday, February 28th, I started Weight Watchers Points Plus online program. At first it seemed great, but by Friday March 4th, I had stopped tracking, stopped caring and stopped losing! All I thought about was food. Pondering what I really wanted, where to get it and how much I could eat! I sound like a drug addict! BECAUSE I AM!

Hi my name is Robyn, and I am a carboholic. You know how people get to go to rehab for alcohol & drug abuse? When they get out people don't drink around them or talk about drugs around them... I wish I could go away for treatment! Obviously that can't happen, and people are not going to stop eating around me! Food consumes my thoughts. Even as I type I can't stop thinking about what I should make for dinner and what to have for dessert later! Gross!

Needless to say, I got a refund on WW and this week have been trying to get back to a low carb lifestyle, but I have blown it everyday! This is why I am still heavy, I can't stop eating crap! Now, I don't sit at home and stuff my face until I can't breathe, nor do I binge eat. But I do eat too big of portions of high fat/high carb foods (Mac N cheese, pizza, ice cream).

I have only gained a couple pounds back, and I am sure it's water weight, but I feel so frustrated and helpless! I am tired of being fat. Why can't it just disappear?

Reason #569 to not have kids:
Your genes are what make up your children. I would hate to have a child go through what I am feeling. I know the pain of being overweight as a child and as an adult. It is not as easy to JUST do something about it. It takes A LOT of hard work and dedication and makes you feel like a failure when you know you are not!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Keep On Keepin' On!

Think it's time to upload a progress pic? Maybe tomorrow!

I have lost a total of 12lbs since January 3rd... Not great, but it's something! That HCG diet rally messed me up! Never gonna give up though!


I use explanation points A LOT!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Hamster Wheel

Hello! What a week!

Not only is my car lock not working properly (well, it works manually), our garage door opener stopped working and I had to get pulled out of the ditch this week! It has been expensive!

I am so glad I quit my math class, I can't even tell you! The weekends are mine again and I can catch up on sleep! I am having issues at work though. I am really getting overwhelmed by the stress. I go through phases where I wish I could just quit and be a cashier or something, but that would be NUTS! How could I walk away from a salary and pretty great schedule, especially when I have a weddingmoon to pay for!

Every week is the same mundane thing.. I am always so tired by Friday that I just want to crawl into a hole and sleep for the rest of winter! Saturday is my only real day I really feel like myself and I always want it to be exciting! Love getting out of Rochester, I actually wear makeup and sometimes earrings! I need more Saturdays!

Speaking of winter, when the hell is it going to be over? I am done! I got a tanning membership this week, so hopefully that will help my skin get some much needed light.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Here I Go Again On My Own!

Well well well! What does a week of not following ANY specific diet get you? A stress free week... For the most part! If I didn't have a cold I would be even better! But being that I ate foods I know make me gain and not feel nourished, I have put a few of the HCG lbs back on. Cue the sad music right? WRONG, I don't really care that I didn't follow a diet this week, but I did, wait for it... WORK OUT this week! Yep you read it right, I worked out a whole 30 minutes on Saturday playing Dance Central! And I actually enjoyed it.
This week I plan to keep living low carb but allowing a "off plan" meal on Saturday. I have tried this in the past and it has worked well for me as long as I work out regularly... So we'll give that a shot!
Hey, Rome wasn't built in a day! I am just trying to find the best fit plan for me.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Hoarse Play

To keep the fun this week has already been going... I have had a sore throat for 2 days and today it is really bad! If I am getting sick I am gonna freak out! I am stressed out enough as it is, today is gonna be a struggle as I have work and 3 hours of class.

Stop the ride, I wanna get off!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

OMFG! WHAT HAVE I DONE!?!?!

If it fits in my mouth and it's edible... I will eat it! I can't stop!

I quit the HCG on Monday night and that is when it all started. We ate at Don Pablos with my parents and some family friends. One meal seems kind of harmless, but now I am spinning out of control! If I gain these 14lbs back I am gonna be so pissed!

My plan was to go right back to Atkins, but I can't seem to stop eating all the carby crap we have around the house. A handful of Goldfish here, peanut butter M&Ms there. Regular soda? Sure, why not!

I gotta get my head together!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Quitter Quitter Chicken Dinner!

I am seriously considering quitting the HCG diet. This is day 6 of very low calorie and I am still dizzy, shaky and have a constant headache. I am crabby ALL THE TIME, especially at work! I got my... ahem, "friend" this week, which is about 3 weeks early and that SUCKS! I am happy with the weight loss, but that is the only thing keeping me going.

I feel like a failure. Okay, not a failure, but a quitter. I quit math, now maybe this diet? Is this just a defense mechanism so I don't have to push myself or do I really feel like this isn't right for me? Will I regret not continuing? It's not like I am gonna stop trying to lose weight, I am just gonna go back to Atkin's, but with exercising too. So I can still enjoy fruit occasionally.

What do you guys think? I need advice/help!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Hola! This is gonna be a quick post...

I am down 6.2lbs this week! That is a total loss of 14.2lbs since Jan. 3rd! WOOHOO!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Under Pressure

As most of you know I have been STRESSED out with school this semester. Well I let it get the best of me today. I dropped my online math class! I am feeling kind of guilty right now, but the pre-college level classes in math were manageable online and this one was terrible. I think I need to take it form a real teacher. I found myself guessing on a lot of answers and then wonder why I get 60% on the tests. So I dropped it! Now I have more time for myself on the weekends and also to dedicate to anatomy.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Feeling Better... I Think

So this is day four of VLC, and I feel pretty good. The only thing I am struggling with so far is drinking enough water and Randall eating anything he wants IN FRONT OF ME! LOL, I just want to smack him when he gets a bowl of cocoa puffs, nuts, candy or even cheese! I can't eat anything good and that is the only thing that has been hard this week! The only thing keeping me going is seeing the numbers going down on the scale. This week I have lost 6lbs so far! Woot!

This afternoon will be another struggle as I am taking Kaylee to Never Say Never, the Justin Bieber movie and of course she has already said "don't forget the popcorn". OMG! I love popcorn! I already told her I can't eat any of it, so hopefully she yells at me if I try to sneak any! Randall and I are also going to see Just Go With It on Saturday night, maybe the smell alone will be good enough

Have a great weekend, I will be doing A LOT of math and watching movies!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I Have a Headache... THIS BIG!!

Today is my VLCD2 (very low calorie day 2). I do not feel like myself! I am very anxious and finding it hard to concentrate! The girls from LCF (Low Carb Friends) assure me it will go away soon, but it is really annoying! After loading I gained 5 lbs... Went up to 203lbs, but came back down to 200.4 lbs this morning so I guess it's working?! I am going to do the dosage of the drops differently tomorrow, hopefully that helps!

Happy Wednesday!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Filled To The Brim

OMG! I feel like crap! This has been my second day loading and I have had too much!

Breakfast:
4 Strips of bacon
10-15 Keebler cheesecake cookies

Snack:
Jalapeno Cheddar Cheetos

Lunch:
Whopper w/cheese
Med. Fries/Onion rings (Randall & I shared)
Coke

Dinner:
6-7 Cheesesticks from Godfather's
1/2 of a small pizza from Godfather's
1/2 a Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream
Root Beer

WOW! So tomorrow starts the 500 calorie diet. I think I will be able to live off the menu from today for about a year!

Excuse me while I puke!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Here We Go Steelers, Here We go!

It is Superbowl Sunday and I am PUMPED!!!! My non home state team is in the big game and I can't wait to see MN's biggest rival get beaten! It is also my first day of the HCG Diet. I have taken my first 10 drops and they taste like... Nothing! So that is a nice surprise, I guess some of the drops taste like alcohol.

So I am loading today and tomorrow, eating all the fatty foods I can find! Then on Tuesday I start a strict calorie reducing diet. Hopefully I live through it! That is a joke, btw! I will be fine! If I do start to feel like crap I will reach out to the support of LCF (lowcarbfriends.com) for advice on what to do. There are plenty of beautiful women that have been very successful with the HCG and swear by it!

Have a safe and happy Superbowl! Go Steelers!

Monday, January 31, 2011

Drum Roll Please...

OMG... I finally lost more than a pound! I lost 2lbs this week! That is a 10lb loss for the month! WAHOO! I really tried to behave this weekend... although I did have ribs & breaded shrimp on Saturday night. (tsk-tsk)! But Sunday I ate good and drank quite a bit of water, much more than normal!

This is my last week of eating yummy Atkin's style foods... Bacon, cheese etc. Next Sunday & Monday I will be "loading" for the HCG Diet. I am really excited about being able to eat foods I haven't had in a while, but also really nervous that it will cause cravings! I hope the diet works for me, it's gonna be interesting! My goal is to lose 20lbs in the month of February! My last day of the HCG will be March 4th, when I will continue Atkin's, but starting in the Induction Phase again.

I keep dreaming of what I could look like in November if I stick to my goals and give it my all! I hope I can stay this motivated in a month or so... I tend to give up when things start to calm down. I just need to keep telling myslef that I am worth it.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Facebook Link

If anyone is interested, I have a Facebook page for my journey also...

www.facebook.com/pages/Recreating-Robyn/154613781254174

Tomorrow is a new weigh in! I hope it goes well! I am planning on drinking A TON of water today! Also one more week until I start the HCG diet!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Playing Catch Up

Oh man! Let the stress of the new semester/winter begin! Not only do I work 40 hours/week, but am also taking 2 college classes as well. Anatomy & Physiology on Tues & Thurs and College Algebra online. Right now I am drowning and forgot how to swim!

It really hit me, well more like bitch slapped me yesterday! I have been so caught up in celebrating (my engagement, Randall's B-Day) that I have let my diet & school take a back seat. I missed an online lab quiz in Anatomy, because I forgot all about it this past weekend. Even though it was only 5 points, it felt like 50! How did I forget about it? I didn't give school a thought this past weekend and now I am paying for it. I have a math assignment due everyday this week and a lab identification quiz in class on Thursday.

Not only is school stressing me out, but also where the hell did all my damn money go? I feel like all of a sudden I am living paycheck to paycheck, and still have to borrow against my line of credit every week! It didn't help that I spent $80 on dinner and $80 on drinking this past weekend for Randall's b-day! $160 gone in one night! And What did I get for it? A 4 hour puking fest since I was so hungover! Funny if I was 23, but come on, I am 29.... Grow up!

So now I am grounding myself! No more fun for me! Not until this semester at school is over in May. The month of February I am going tubing and to a Superbowl Party, but that is the only planning I am doing outside of work and classes! I think this is the only way I will pass Anatomy and Algebra! Seriously. I honestly never learned how to study and that was very obvious in my Chemistry class last semester. Time to buckle down!

I need to focus on my work, school & diet! I always let fun come before work! Time for a true investment in my future! It is only 3 1/2 months I am giving up a social life! I am not taking classes this summer, so I will be down for fun then!

I could really use a movie montage to move this along!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Happy Birthday Randall!

Today is Randall's (my fiance) birthday, so we are going to dinner and out after that! Should be a good time! I will try and be good this weekend, NO SWEET WINE!
Just a head's up, I have decided to try Dr. Simeons weight loss protocol, the HCG Diet. HCG is a hormone that women produce while they are pregnant and it helps burn "brown fat" in the body, when taken with a very low calorie diet (VLCD). On the website for low carb support I frequent daily, there are quite a few people that have tried this and absolutely swear by it. So, I thought I would give it a shot! After the first round I will see what I lose and will continue Atkins from there. I just ordered my drops yesterday, so I am sure I will start in about a week or so! This will be an interesting experiment... I will be posting almost daily I am sure about it. Sure to be entertaining!
Check back on Monday to see if I lost any weight this week!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Week 2: Celebrate Good Times, C'mon!

Wow, I haven't written in a whole week! Tsk, tsk! It has been a great week for me! On Tuesday my fiance finally proposed! We have been planning our wedding since June of 2010, but I still didn't have a ring. So on 1/11/11, 10 months before our wedding he asked and gave me the most beautiful ring! I am so happy and lucky to be blessed with someone who loves me so unconditionally!
Unfortunately my weight loss suffered though! I followed my Atkin's plan eating wise pretty darn close, but we had some friends over on Saturday night and I got a little crazy with the wine! I had 2 glasses of champagne and 2 glasses of blackberry wine. The wine probably has more sugar in it than a soda! It is so delicious, but I think it stalled me BIG TIME! I only lost .6lbs! BUT... That still means that I have lost 6.6lbs since 1/3/11, so that is nothing to be ashamed of!

I know this week will be better even though there will be more celebrating this weekend as it is my fiance's b-day on Saturday!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Week 1: The Starting Line

It's Monday, time to weigh in...


I am down 6lbs! WOOOHOOO! That is pretty damn good for a week wouldn't you say?


This first week has seemed pretty easy for me! I am in ketosis, which is ideal for losing weight on a low-carb diet. The biggest difference so far is that I have had an easier time, um... well... ya know... (TMI ALERT) going to the bathroom! I have never felt full to the point of bloating and I think I have slept harder, but still feeling a little sluggish! I have been a little "touchy"! I think I have cried at least once a day since Friday! Over really silly things! I think I am just nervous about starting classes again! That is what I am blaming it on anyways! I have been spending a lot of time alone lately and that gives me a jolt of anxiety for meeting new people in school. I always fear I am terrible at first impressions! It's like high school all over again for like a month, then you get used to it... But I feel really self conscious every time a semester starts.

Just wish the outside matched the inside! But don't we all!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Bookworm!

I have recently ordered not 2, but 3 new books from Amazon! To be honest only because I got free shipping if I spent more than $25. So why not, right? My selections are:

1. Why We Get Fat and What To Do About It, By Gary Taubes
2. The All-New Atkins Advantage, By Stuart L. Trager
3. The Nine Rooms of Happiness, By Lucy Danzonger

This will be my weekend! I am going to dive in and read them ALL WEEKEND LONG! I am shutting my phone off and am making a date with myself!

I am super excited about the Why We Get Fat book, but after skimming The Nine Rooms of Happiness: Loving Yourself, Finding Your Purpose, and Getting Over Life's Little Imperfections, I think this will be very interesting. I am nowhere near a depressed person, but I always see the negatives in life and don't always appreciate the day for what it is!

I don't normally read, but I feel so inspired right now!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

MGD 64 Biggest Loser - First Weigh In

The official weigh in was on Monday 1/3/11. I weighed in at 210.2 lbs.

Not much else to say about that. It is disappointing and I am embarrassed about it, but I can't change it overnight! Gotta start somewhere right?!

I will be weighing in every Monday and updating on here as well as my Recreating Robyn page on facebook. My ultimate goal is to look and feel my absolute best when I marry the man of my dreams in Jamaica on 11/11/11! Not only do I deserve to be healthy, but I shouldn't commit to someone else when I haven't committed fully to myself! This is for OUR lives together! I am so excited for our future!

So follow me on my journey to Jamaica for 11/11/11!

It's Resolution Time... AGAIN!

Well another year has passed and it's again time for self renewal. And with that comes self doubt and hatred and a feeling of failure from the year before. Looking back on the year that has passed and wishing you had more fun, made more money, spent less money, got more sleep and lost some weight! I am not going to do that this year! I vow to make this year about being my own #1 fan! As in front row seat at any price, camp overnight in the snow type of fan!

This is 2011! This is going to be a BIG year for me! I am turning 30 in May and getting married in November. Both very scary ventures for me! When I was a teenager I never thought that I wanted to get married, I just wanted to be a successful actress on SNL or winning Academy Awards without hardly trying! Now I am a homeowner, have a great fiance and am going to school to become a sonographer. Don't get me wrong the life I have is fantastic, but there is still something holding me back. My weight!

I know I am not the only one who has struggled with this, but it is so devastating when you have lost and gained weight back! It would be so much easier if I could say that I have always been heavy and tried everything to not be. BUT, in my early 20s, I did lose a lot of weight and looked great! Or so I think now... when I was thin, I still felt I was too flabby! I look at pictures and wonder what the hell I was thinking. I looked amazing!

So now, to get back to a healthy weight and be proud of the accomplishment is all I want! And to maybe look gorgeous in my wedding dress!

So here we go 2011! This is my year! I will be using this blog to not only track my weight loss, but hopefully keep myself focused on self love and adoration for life!